A not-to-be-missed letter from a Cow to Indians stripping naked, beating and killing people over bovines!

Dear Human,

This is your mother, not the one that gave you birth but the one whose nipples you pull hard early in the morning to have your glass of milk, my milk. It feels embarrassing though when you touch them in front of my hubby but we’ve grown used to it now after around 10,000 years. For those who don’t milk in the morning, we are four-legged creatures you see on Indian roads that block your horny vehicles. By the way, are you blind? Can’t you see our long ears? We can listen you honk; just that we don’t care. You pulled us from our homes to this disturbing world of yours, at least let us be. You know, around 10,500 years ago, we used to be in the wild. Then the moronic neolithic humans whose clan you are, caught us to domesticate, I mean to milk, kill and skin us for your kinds’ good. In the beginning it was Turkey and Pakistan but then it slowly spread all over the globe. There was also time when we were used as currency; what do you call it? Oh wait, Barter System. Then came the Indians, the kind ones who started to look after us as their own. They started to refer to our kind as Gaumatas (mother cow). My hubby in the small shed you built us, calls your people morons for not worshiping him, he asks, why only women folk? I pat him on his large tummy, see my dear, it is their way of making even the treatment they give to their female counterparts. He moos and keeps quite. You see, unlike your kind we are compassionate, we give more than you give us. You pulled us out of forests, our homes to make us your moms. Did you not had your own? Do they don’t feed you their milk? Do they don’t love you enough that you require another mother from our world?

Anyways, I write to you because of the oxen that came to us yesterday. And the disturbing tale it brought to us. We hear, you have lynched a man for allegedly storing our meat in their cold fridge. I get it. We are so overwhelmed to hear you slaughter your own as punishment for slaughtering our own. Thank you. Dear son, can you please go and teach a lesson to those shitheads who are doing yajnas for a firangi who runs his business selling meat of ours? And also those as**oles who say our firangi relatives are not entitled for mata tag! Now how dare them say anything as stupid as that? Tell them how Jersey and Holstein Friesian breeds had largely contributed in making White Revolution in Gujarat successful with high yield of their milk. Can you also please come with those sticks, stones and whatever you go with to hunt humans, come and teach a lesson or two to our owners who don’t feed us well but pull our nipples in the morning? This use-and-throw attitude of yours is disgusting. Remember when the state government of Rajasthan announced special ministry for cows? We overjoyed then and also gave extra milk without you pulling those fleshy nipples of ours but you know what is happening in the prized state? Your grannies(our parent bovines) are left to die there, left to find food and water on their own on a piece of land which has none! Over thousands have already died and many are on the verge of losing their life. Looks like the attitude you fester towards your birth moms also applies to us as well, when young, milk them to your needs and when old, pray they are dead soon. Good going dear all cow-is-our-gaumata-sons!

“Cows, bulls and other govansh (cow progeny) are abandoned at this place every year. Some cattle die every year. But the deaths this year have been unprecedented,” says Ramkesh Gurjar of Khal-Satolai village. Express Image.

You don’t feed us yourself and leave us on streets and elsewhere to find food by ourselves. When we put our mouth at vegetable vendors, we are shooed away and beaten. There are times when we end up eating the stupid plastic which wouldn’t have existed had your gods resorted not created your kind. The people who are taking care of us on paper are leaving us to die on ground. What are we supposed to do? Those who transport us are beaten mercilessly. You say we are your gods. Then pray to this gods of yours. If we are your gods, why do you put our milk on those stone gods of yours? Who makes a business selling their gods? Well, humans do; don’t they? Who milks their gods to make profit for themselves? ‘Everyone’ giggles the black buffalo over here with white teeth which can be spotted in dark from a mile. I’m kidding. I see you humans are running #BlackLivesMatter campaign to give equal rights to your black people. You know, we also ran a similar campaign to stop slaughtering of our black bovines in a 300 year old tradition at Gadhimai temple of Nepal. Thanks the cowsheds, we won. Wonder what took you so long to hear your gods. Are your gods dumb to let it happen for so long? Whatever. We respect your faith and your gods however stupid they may seem to us. Wish you did the same to your own kind. Blacky, the buffalo tells us a head of state of yours recently said, Muslims should leave India if they chose to eat beef. Did somebody tell him to mind his own business? We guess not. We know your kind. You always enjoy picking on others. Upper caste on lower caste and one majority over other minority. We have seen this over the time that we have lived with your kind. There was time when we were sacrificed for stupid traditions of yours which have ended for the good now. Recently, we heard you beat fellow human beings in Gujarat, who you don’t consider equal and have exploited since centuries (read Dalits) for skinning dead bodies of few of us. We wonder why? Do you forget time and again that the footwear you wear, belts you flaunt, leather stuff you use, once came all from our skin and continue to do so till today? Thanks to some good brains in them, they have said ‘Your mother, you take care of it’ by dumping cow carcasses outside the collectorate and boycotting their work of collecting dead bovines. Bravo!

Video grab of the incident in Gujarat. Express Image. Express Image.

You say we are your mothers, you say we represent your gods. You also say your god created this world of yours, that he created humans and animals alike. Did these other people you discriminate came just by themselves or did your god also created them? We are fed up of your nonsense. We are fed up of you. If we had some god, we would have prayed them to drown you in our urine, which you again consider sacred. oh damn, give us a break! 

I know, our words won’t bring sense into your life. I know you will continue to beat, fight and kill your kind over us and other nonsense stuff. I wish you do. I wish you all die fighting and leaving this planet for ourselves so we can roam free, so that we can give our milk to our children, so that we can die honorably in the ways we have done before you domesticated us to call your gods and fight in yourselves. This planet is our home too. Learn to live in harmony and coexistence or to yourself. Next time you get kicked by one of us or hear us moo, remember we are warning you — beware, else we all animals will revolt one day like we did before in George Orwell’s Animal Farm! I know you have left reading a long ago else there is no good reason why you would lynch, beat or kill one of your own…

Thanks for reading so far. Now do share if you cared what you just read. Write below if you have anything to share. Moo moo — I mean, thanks!

Yours,

Frustated-hungry-embarassed-tired Gaumata.